Saturday, July 28, 2007

A message from AJ's Dad

Cindy has always said that she would give me the password and let me post on her blog if I wanted to. I've never felt like I have had anything important enough to say until now. However, it is midnight on Saturday morning and my family is currently sound asleep. I however, am wide awake and I have been forced to hack into Cindy's blog account because I have something important to say.

This weekend is my high school class' 20th anniversary reunion. This really doesn't interest me very much as I have not kept up with very many people from high school. Actually, I have kept up with only one person. My high school class had something like over 500 members in it. And only one of these was ever important enough to me to keep up with. At any rate, my friend asked me to come out to an unofficial reunion event tonight at the Firehouse Saloon. Since I do not get many opportunities to spend with my fried as he lives in the Dallas area now I obliged, despite the fact that I never cared for the "bar scene" even in my younger days.

Now as any of you that I have attended one of these events is aware everyone that you run into (whether they know or knew you or not) feels obliged to ask, "What have you been up to?" Yeah, like I am going to give you the history of my past 20 years. I don't even remember your name. Nevertheless, as some point during the evening and amongst the conversations I was forced to ponder what has happened to me over the past 20 years.

Has my life turned out as I expected it to? Am I where I wanted to be by this time in my life? Have I acheived my goals?

Again, if you have attended any of these events I would be willing to bet you can answer some of these questions in a very similar manner that I can. In case you are interested, my answer to all three of the above questions is a resounding no. However, the answer to the more important question is a resounding YES. What is that question? Am I happy with my life?

Over the past 20 years I have had many experiences. Some good and many not so good. In fact, my life has not turned out at all the way I expected. And I am nowhere near where I thought I would be. I don't know if I have acheived my goals. I must admit that I was never sure what my goals were.

But I am very happy with my life. I am not rich and successful (at least in the way that the world defines these phrases) by any stretch of the imagination. Like most of you I have had to scratch and claw my way to where I am today. But I am here and I have done it (to quote Frank Sinatra) my way. But most of all I have two things that nobody from my high school class, none of you, and in fact nobody else in the entire world will ever have.

This leads me to the reason I have hacked into Cindy's account.

Several years ago I lost a somebody that was the most important thing in my life -- my mother. My mother was my best friend and my greatest cheerleader. Whatever I chose to do or not do my mother was there to support me. No offense to any of your mothers or any of you mothers, but my mother was simply the greatest in the world. You would have to know the entire history to know why and I don't have time to tell you. This is already getting long. Now you are probably wondering about something that I lost. Because as is His way God took something valuable away from me only to replace it with something even better.

My wife has become my one and only cheerleader. She is there to support me in anything that I choose to do or not do. Best of all, no matter what happens my wife is always there to love me, comfort me and be with me. She truly has become my help mate and my confidant. She is my wife and my best friend. And nobody in the entire world will ever have my wife. She is mine and only mine - and I hers.

Cindy and I have been through some great time over the last several years. We have also been through some of the hardest times of our lifes together. Those of you that have been reading Cindy's post for a long time know what those hardest times are. If you don't you are going to dig back into the archives to find out because it is a long story and this is already getting long.

Nevertheless, I have one more thing that nobody in the world will ever have. I have one possesssion that is more valuable than all the gold ever found, lost, and to be found in the world. That one thing is my son, AJ. It has been nearly 3 years since AJ entered our lifes. In those three years I have experienced times that have put my faith in God to the test and I have received blessings beyond my imagination. This evening, before I left AJ brought me a few books to read to him. I read the books to him, albeit begrudingly at the time. In fact, I now feel guilty about this. These moments that I spent with the little guy are so priceless, when he looks at me and says, "I love you too, Daddy" I realize that every experience that I have ever had in my life, every path that I have been down as been to be this little boy's daddy. This is the job I was meant to have and this is the job that I embrace. I am proud to be AJ's Dad! And nobody else can ever say that.

However, I also look at AJ and I grow frightened. Frightened that I can not live up to the expecations that AJ has of me. Frightened by the very job that I embrace and love. But that leads me to the last thing that I have. But this thing is free to everyone. I have a Lord and Saviour that will always stand with me to guide and counsel me with the wisdom to do this job. A God that has promised me all the riches of Heaven and Earth. Afterall, it is the Father God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit that has led me through all these experiences to bring me to here. To this place that I love and that I am happy with.

I am richer than any of you can be because I have Cindy and AJ. Nevertheless, I pray that every Daddy out there can be as rich as I am.

Cindy and AJ: This is meant for both of you to know how much I love both of you -- and I want everyone to know. Thanks for being my family!

Now, this has gotten pretty long already. If you will excuse me I need to email my wife the new password to her account so she can continue to bring you her Adventures in Toddlerhood. Thank you for allowing me to ramble on about my blessings and my family.


Stephanie said...

James, I...I...


You are an awesome husband and Daddy!!

mommiebear2 said...

Wow - that was amazing! You sound like the bestest daddy and hubby around.

Smack Bauer #24 said...

you truly are blessed!
that brought tears to my eyes; we also have a 3 year old boy and i want to be the sort of mom that inspires him to feel about me the way you feel about your mom. thanks for hacking in!